pauliesthots

was just thinking abt life.. nothing in particular during my shower..

was thinking about how short life could actually be.. when you quantify it..

i don't think i had this depressing thought since i was 11 or 12.. back then i just shut it off and told myself not to think of such stupid things..

but now i suppose it's not that stupid to be thinking abt it.. but at the same time.. i guess i shld not let it overpower me..

the positive frm it .. is that i shld take things more seriously and nothing for granted..

ok.. i havent explained wat i was thinking abt in detail..

well.. was just thinking how my parents are like 50ish.. and that fingers crossed.. they will live to be in their 70-80s..

so say for argument sake.. 75.. that would give them abt 20-25 yrs..

i was like.. man.. that's too short.. wat i am gonna do without them.. who will i go to for sound advise?? who will i go to if i need comforting..

especially now.. when i am away here in PErth and they are back in KL.. we only get to see each other once a year.. so how??

that was a rather depressing thought lor..

makes me wish that i was back in KL.. being able to see my parents and granny more often.. after all.. they are like the ppl who love me the most in this entire world.. not counting all the female fans that i have .. (kidding ok.. =P)

but really.. i wish i could do something.. perhaps apply for PR for my parents.. i could prolly do that after the 2nd year of my PR.. think that would be july this year.. but might be easier if sean also got his PR.. then since both the siblings are sponsoring the parents.. then it would be easier.. will have to pray and seek advise..

but i'm not really sure if OZ life would be the life that my parents want.. their frens and parents are back home.. wat more.. their ministry is back home.. well dad did ask me to help organise a workshop for him here.. will have to give more thoughts abt that later..

but i am digressing..

the point of this entry is that.. life is short.. i should try to make the most of life.. dont take it negatively.. but i should do everything to the fullest.. and not procrastinate..

ie. if i want to be a senior in the firm by end of June this year.. i should have empower myself by leading more often and taking up the challenges of conducting the training sessions.. and reading up on more boring technical issues.. sighz.. that's not really what i want in life..

i guess i do not want to be stuck behind the office looking to see if anyone muck up their accounts.. i do not want to waste my life like tat..

i do not want to work 50-60 hour weeks and earn tons of $$.. only to see my kids grow up without knowing/spending time with their daddy..

i want to make a difference in this world.. so far.. i can say that frm the approach i have taken.. a lifestyle evangelism approach.. it's been working.. at work.. but then.. i dun see the fruits.. or i dun even get to share abt my life.. well perhaps its because i never went looking.. =(

but yes.. i do blive God preserved my life for things greater than what i am doing right now.. and yes i do blive that He is shaping, molding me right this very moment.. or else what am i doing here in PErth??

if it wasn't His workings.. i don't think I would be here..

the very fact that things worked out so smoothly.. it's a sign that He had a hand in all these..

to have my brother here.. to share this chapter of my life.. is certainly a Masterpiece created by Him..

to have a good church to worship in.. to grow in.. good Christian friends to count on..

and a new group of friends to hang out with.. good clean fun..

it is certainly His doing..

but I'm not completely satisfied..

this is not the end.. it's only the beginning.. and i hope that the next 25 years of my life.. i would be able to do things that would impact the world and make Him proud.. i want to give the best years of my life to Him.. i do not want to retire from the work force.. and then only say.. Lord.. here i am .. a retired old fart.. take me and use me..

I'm not putting retirees down.. hey.. everyone and anyone who is in the Lord's service deserves a pat on their shoulder..

but not everyone's parents would give their child the freedom to do that.. most asian parents would want their kids to be b a professional.. and make tons of $$.. and build big homes.. drive big cars.. (This is only a general illustration)

i know my parents..

they would be happy either ways.. as long as I am following the calling of the Lord..

so far.. I don't think He has called me..

when i was younger.. i used to tell Him.. Lord pls dun ask me to be a missionary..
i was afraid tat i would lack the finances.. but after being a full time worker's kid for the past 10/12 years.. i can testify that God has never ever left us alone without enuff..

and i guess from that.. i can be secured in Him.. that He is indeed Jehovah Jireh.. I have seen Him carrying and protecting me thru all these times..


I have alwiz thought about doing short term missions.. tentmaking.. using my profession as a tool to enter places without/lacking Christ.. and reaching out.. China seems like a good place for my profession.. but i can't speak Mandarin.. and YES.. i shld go for classes.. (procrastination here.. )

but like how i told my frens.. mayb teach english is better.. might go take up TESL (teaching english as second language).. mayb i will do tat after completing my 3 yrs in accounting.. and achieving my CPA.. i might just head back to uni or tafe and get the TESL cert.. that would open up doors..