what's wrong..

Am i so phlegmatic and melancholic?

Why do i see the negative side of things instead of looking it as a challenge? a problem to be solved? Why do I moan so much and think of all the worse case scenario huh?

Mr Ng.. please give yourself a break can or not?

After the chat with Phooi Sie.. my worse fears are confirmed lar.. God is a really nice and humourous guy.. there is no way for me to runaway frm my fears huh.. what am i talking abt?
I thought that maybe finding work in OZ would be different frm here.. but it seems like the same ol s%^&.. meaning I have to lead the team and all lar..

Is that bad? Not really.. just that I'm a bit low on the self-confidence department.. I'm not sure how that has come into being lar.. maybe I really gotta get real and work towards excellence lar.. gotta prove to myself that hey.. i'm alright lar..

I guess it's that I see myself in a negative light whereas an independent bystander would remark and say.. hey man.. that's good work i see in you.. but i would like.. hmm.. rather normal rite? =)

Something is definitely not right with me lar.. I know I'm really blessed by God

All the things He has granted me.. the PR, the job.. and without even a face to face interview.. man how much better can it get? I know being the thick skin bugger.. I like to test the ground even further.. like how I asked the Company if I can start work a week later.. and I remember I tried that with DKC and they dump my application in the "forget em"tray.. =P

And then further testing.. asking for relocation benefits.. hah.. i got 2 weeks accommodation from the Company.. I really think it's God's blessing.. but then today.. when Ms. BaoLian told me that BOC is giving her 4 weeks accom and 4 wks car rental and providing her the air plane ticket and also shipping cost.. i was like.. wah.. of course i cannot compare orange with apple lar.. BOC is a huge firm compared to PKF.. so yeah..

Gotta be grateful for my own blessings lar.. be contented for what you ask for and don't compare.. like what Uncle Josh said lar.. I gotta decide what i want out of life lar.. where i want to see myself in 10 20 yrs time.. do i want to be a high flyer, an audit partner, driving a merc? or do i want be driving a proton, simple life..

What do I want? I want to be a useful human being. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to help people. I want to have a family, my own unit..

okies.. to be continued..